Laying Michon To Rest

 

Waking up the day of the funeral is kind of like a blurry dream. We were meeting Kaden and Karver there. I guess we met everyone there. I cried the whole way. Jeff and I sat in the car a few minutes mustering up the courage to go inside and face Kaden. Jeff had been pretty strong for me and all of us but, He broke down on the way over and then again in the car for a few minutes. I had dress clothes for Karver but, once we got inside we figured he would be happier in clothes He was used to. I really have few memories from before the actual viewing other than making sure the sweet ladies from our ward were there in the nursery. Our families all came. We set all went in the room and people started coming through the line. Michon used to tell us She had millions of cousins. Holy cow she was right! I bet at least 20% of those we met said they were cousins. We knew about 5 maybe 10 % of those who came. I was grateful to those we knew.
 It was a Tuesday morning and there was little notice. The stupid Spectrum newspaper didn't run Her obituary on Monday. The one day it needed to run the most. We had so many friends who had no idea what happened and would have been there if they would have done their job right. I had a hard time in the viewing. So did Lindsey, I guess our anxiety kicked in. I had to leave the room several times to maintain my composure. I couldn't believe how strong Kaden and Her family was. Leaving did give me a chance to hug family and friends I loved in the hall and check on the kids. Jamie and Lindsey had left their kids at home so it was alot less worry for all of us. But, poor Karver was distraught because of the events the past few days. He was missing His Momma and wondering what was going on. In a strange place with strange people He was screaming and throwing fits. In all the rush we didn't think of having snacks or drinks for the kids. By the time everything was over they had all had it. I am so grateful for Sheila Vane, Breena Woodbury, Donna Troy and Lisa Dinsmore for ALL their help. Mostly Sheila spent alot of time outside wandering with Karver looking at trucks in the parking lot.
 When the viewing was over, I went and got Karver to draw in the lid. He was really wound up and we were going to wait until after the family prayer. Jeff gave a beautiful blessing but, I din't here much because I was trying to keep Karver quiet. Finally we just started letting Him draw in the lid. I traced his hand and wrote "Love you Momma" While they were trying to put the lid back on we all had a few moments to go up and say Good- bye. It was so hard to think this would be the last time we would see her here on earth. My heart was aching as I looked at Kaden and Her family.
  When it was time to go in to the chapel I wanted to make sure I sat by Kaden. I followed Jeff and Her parents toward the Chapel. Jana had offered to help with Karver. I feel so bad now., I just handed Him screaming to Her along with my car key and a sippy and his blanky and kept going. I worried the whole funeral. First of all how would She find my car. How would Karver be and I knew She had no food. Poor Jana. She was a trooper though. She said once She got Him in the car, He settled down. He wanted to find a backhoe and so they started looking. She found one right off and then He was happy. A "Tender Mercy" for sure! He slept and She drove. Jana alway comes through for us!! Once we got in and got seated, I started looking around. Her sisters were really struggling. Casey was really struggling. Her Mom was distraught as expected. Her Dad had a blank look. Kaden held his head down. All our kids and spouses were crying. Jamie and Callie the most. Poor Lindsey had had to do her grieving in Logan so She hadn't had the chance to go through all of it with us. I think that made it harder for her to let it sink in at that point. I was worried about Karver but, mostly Kaden. I was grateful to have Jeff with me so I could hang in there.
Once the service started it was easier to focus. The man presiding welcomed everyone and Joes sister in law sang a really beautiful arrangment of "I know that my reedemer lives." Then Mitch prayed. It was really hard for him because He is super emotional like me. He gave a perfect prayer. After that Michons Mom got up and left really fast. Her Dad helped Her out. I just assumed She was too overwhelmed to stay but, I guess she had been having alot of stomach pain the night before. She also had a really bad cold and cough so with all the stress I am sure her body was just giving in to the pain! Corey and Joe went out after them. Corey is a wildland firefighter so He has medical training and Joe is a Police officer. Kaden said He better go check on Her so He left too. The Bishop also followed them out so we waited a few minutes to see if everything was ok. When they came back minus Michons parents , He announced that they would be listening to it over the intercome and so it started. Crystal was first. She gave the eulogy, then she gave a little tribute to Michon and told some stories. She did wonderful. She was so worried about speaking but really wanted to. I was proud of her. Then Angie got up. I was worried for Angie more because she is very tender hearted and I knew it was going to be really tough on her. She also did such a great job. The memories and stories were perfect and you could just tell that this was the hardest thing either of those girls had ever done. After that it was my turn. Boy, after speaking at my Moms service I thought it would be a little easier for me the second time around, but I was wrong! Losing Michon was much more tragic and I could just feel the pain from everyone in the room. The pressure of them looking for comfort and reassurance. The chapel was crammed full and for a minute I was wondering why I had offered to speak. For a moment I began to question myself. Then I looked down and Kaden with his head hanging and all her family and ours and knew I was doing it because I wanted to pay tribute to Michon so I just started giving my talk. I can't remember when I even wrote it. I didn't type it up or anything. I just wrote my thoughts in a notebook a few times and it turned into my talk. I wanted to cover all the different things I loved and admired about Her so, I kind of just followed along the lines of things I knew about Her. I plan on typing it up and saving it, so I won't post all of that. I want to write the basic outline though for my blog book.

I Know She had a wonderful family who loved Her. Parents who raised her to be a kind and loving person. Siblings who she was close too and loved to spend time with. 

I know She loved Kaden with all her heart and He loved her.

 I know was the best Momma around. I know that when She had to leave them behind it was the hardest choice She ever had to make. I know that taking Her sweet baby with her was one of the things that made it possible for Her to go.

 I know She was sentimental She loved pouring over Kadens scrapbooks and kept a wonderful account of Her and Kaden and then wrote letters to Karver on Her blog. What a treasure those will be.

 I know She had faith in the power of the Priesthood. She asked for blessings many times through Her and Karvers health problems.

 I know She was a hardworker. She was loyal to her job but, also worked hard to make their house a home.

 I know She was a talented and creative homemaker.

 I know She had the cutest giggle and loved to pose for the camera.

 I know She was the kind of daughter in law and Sister in law that we all hoped for and loved.

I know She loved spending time on adventure with Kaden. She loved Camping and hiking and rock climbing and crawling.

 I know She loved being married and a stay at home Mom. Karver got the best Momma.  In the short time She had she prepared Him for Life. She taught Him so much and He gave her Joy!

 I know that She will be missed by so many! Losing Her makes us all Know She is a very special girl with a very important mission to fullfill and when we know that purpose we will all find the comfort we have looked for.

 I know that She will be reunited with Kaden and Karver again and they will raise their baby together and enjoy all the blessing of being a Family forever.

 I know She is here with them and all of us, whenever She can be.

 I know She is Loved! Speaking was hard but, it brought me peace. After I spoke They played the song by Alan Jackson Sissys Song. It was a perfect song for Michon. Every line described this situation. The music was too loud and the words to soft but, those of us who knew felt that pain and comfort from it. After that Casey was going to try to speak. He wasn't on the program because He didn't think He could do it. When I turned around to see if was able he shook his head no. It was so so sad. Her and Casey were so close.

 Then Kaden who we also left off the program wanted to try. I turned to Him and said it's time if you can. I must say I was surprised to see Him get up. But, nothing prepared me for what happened next. I have never been so proud of Him in my life. I have been proud of Him countless times but, this was by far the most selfless thing He had ever done. He stood at the pulpit, not the kid I raised. But a Man who loved His wife with all his heart and soul. Who longed to meet His baby and knew what it would take to love and raise Karver. He started from the beginning of their story and went through every min of it. I was spellbound. He poured out His heart from the beginning to the end while every person sat and listened. It was amazing! I don't think one person in the room moved an inch or made a sound. It was sad and hard but, I am so glad He had the courage to do it. I know it helped Him through all His pain. It was by far the best talk I have ever heard and I was not only proud of Him but my heart was full of love and admiration beyond belief.

After that the bishop said a few words. I left to check on Michons Mom and see if I could find or talk to Jana. I didn't find Jana and Evelyn was doing the best She could so I went back in. At the end it was so hard to once again follow the casket out to the hearse. To go on to the cemetary again and say good-bye.

 Kaden and Her family went with Her. Jeff and I took Karver home to grab food and then we went to the cemetary. Jeff was holding Karver as they brought her to the grave sight. It was so hard to watch. Karver of course wanted to get down and play. We all tried to keep track of Him so Kaden wouldn't have to. Her Dad dedicated the grave. I didn't hear much but what I did hear was very touching. Then the paulbeares came forward to place their flowers on the casket and Family came forward to say final good-byes. Kaden took Karver over and helped Him as they placed their boutineers as well. What Man should have to do that at his age? What little boy should have to do that at all?

Kadens ward and Her parents ward prepared a luncheon so we walked over to eat. It was pretty weird to do that again but, esp in that situation. Kaden stayed behind to say good-bye one last time. I am sure it tore Him apart to leave. We spent out time their eating and visiting with Shawn, Amber and Amber Lee because they had to leave. We for sure we grateful they were there. I know it meant so much to Kaden to have Shawn there with Him. It was hard to have them come for that reason of course and sad that we never got the chance to have the kids for the week. I guess in the end it was another horrible day in our lives and even though I felt so many blessings and spiritual experience throughout this whole thing, It was something I never dreamed we would have to go through and something i hoped my child would never experience either. We all went home drained and I can't really remember anything the rest of the night.