They called their idea RAOK ( random acts of kindness) for Michon. They put together a little card that told about her and why we were doing these in her memory. It really helped me to try to focus on service and not feel sorry for myself during the Christmas Season. I sometimes think Michon would really be embarrassed by all the fuss everyone is making in her memory. I can picture her being mad for sure. I know that she knows what we are doing and considering all that she does know, she is probably very touched by all of these things.
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| This is the card we passed out, on one of Angie's gifts. |
I decided (and Jeff went along:) the things I wanted to do would be things for people Michon loved or loved her. I also tried to include things that I thought she would think was important or fun.
Her sisters went to work quickly and started doing lots of neat things. One of the things on the card was to take pictures and/of post pictures on her blog of the RAOK done.
I felt uncomfortable doing that although it was really fun to see the ideas and things they did. So, we did ours in secret mostly and kept it all to ourselves.
I talked to Evelyn (Michon's Mom) and she told me about her first act. She stood in back of a little family and the Dairy Queen. After the ordered she mustered up the courage to hand them a card and explain what she was doing as she paid for their meal. She said she was shaking and crying so hard she could barely speak. I know Michon was there with her helping her through it all, and I also know she would be very touched by it.
I decided to list what we did so I could keep it as a memory. I am not mentioning names on some of them though,
The first thing I did was take a huge family size Lasagna with bread and treats to a friend of mine. She happened to know Michon and I happened to know her husbands hours at work were cut back, and with a large family to feed, they could use not only the food, but the cheering up. The funny thing is I got a REALLY good deal on the Lasagna a month before. Because of size I hesitated to buy it, but in my head I knew there was a reason for me to get it. Heavenly Father works in mysterious ways.
The next thing I did was a little out of my comfort zone. As I went to Costco the day before Thanksgiving I noticed a man on the side of the driveway holding a card board sign. I often question people when I see this. I wonder if they are really in need or if they are taking advantage of others. While I was shopping I thought of him, and once I got back in my car I went out the same way to see if he was still there. As I got closer I could read his sign and I loved it! It wasn't begging for money or a short sob story, it said "honk if you bought a pie" It made me smile and I handed him my $5 buck as he wished me a Happy Thanksgiving. I figured if one out of every hundred cars gave him $5 bucks that day he probably took home a pretty good amount of cash. If he really needed it great. If he didn't then all of us who helped felt a little bit of the giving spirit that day.
Another day I was in Walmart and I saw a lady in our ward. She had lost her husband not long after Michon died and we knew him quite well. Her family was already struggling and on top of that she is fighting breast cancer. As soon as I saw her the spirit told me to give her money. I had no cash. At least I thought I had no cash, but when I looked in my wallet for coupons I found $20 bucks I had stashed and forgotten about. I tired to find her in the store again and realized that if I did, I didn't have a card to give her. They were in the car. About the time I decided to just move on, I ran into her as we were checking out. I gave her a hug and talked to her for a min. and chickened out and left. I ignored the spirit and I felt horrible. I got in the car and told Jeff. We went home and put our stuff away, got a card and went to her house. I tried to sneak up and put in on her porch with the money, but she saw me. After another quick visit we left knowing I should have listened!
When I won my gift card to Lin's I was pretty excited. I knew it would buy our turkey and feeding a big family is pricey. Not long after that I won the $500 from KSL. I decided to give the gift card to someone Michon loved that would need the help for Christmas. It took me awhile to get around to doing it, so before I did I talked with Jeff and we decided to give more than the $15. On the way home from Santa Clara one day I stopped to get the turkey. When I got up to pay the gift card showed 0 balance. I was a little put out because it was kind of embarrassing and I really had no way to prove it was wrong. I went up to the service counter and told them about it. They checked out my story, honored my card and I went on my way. After I got to thinking about it, I realized that if we would have given that card away, it would have not only been embarrassing for them but not useful. I am so glad we decided to do something else for this person. Some Cash in a card with a Christmas wish went farther anyway, and I knew Michon would love what we had done.
At the DRMC there is a huge Iron tree in the parking lot. It is the "Lights for Life" tree. I had thought about paying to light it up in honor of my Mom and Michon, but I had never followed through. I decided we should light it for Michon and the baby as a gift for her parents and Kaden. When I checked into it, I found out it was $1,000.00 to light the tree! Um...can't afford that. They said to light a light in Michon's and the baby's name just required a small donation so I went ahead and did that.
The foundation sent a letter to Brent and Evelyn and Kaden telling them about it. They lit the tree on December 1st. It was a Sunday evening. My initial thought was to invite our families to view the lighting and have donuts and hot chocolate or something together. I figured we could come to our house or Kaden's. He was very hesitant when I told him about it, but said he would think about it. After that he really didn't say much when I brought it up. I knew he was uncomfortable with it by the way he acted, so I let him off the hook. I asked Evelyn to not say anything to her kids about going over there on that night and I told Kaden Jeff and I were meeting her parents there and we would love to have him. I also told him not feel pressure. because I know he grieves in his own way and doesn't always want to make a big deal about things. We met them there and enjoyed the serenity of the tree. It was peaceful and we had a really long nice talk with frozen feet. It was good for Evelyn and I to share things we were feeling and Jeff and Brent seemed to enjoy their chat as well. I am pretty sure they didn't cry or talk much about Michon. but I was glad that we had that time together, and I know it meant a lot to them and to us to have the tree lit in their names.
The last thing we did was small and simple. Michon loved my friend Becky because Becky is so fun and sweet. One day we were driving by the Sugar Cookie store. I had tasted one of their cookies and it was pretty yummy. It's like biting into a pillow of sweetness! Jeff loves sugar cookies and I HATE to make them ( too messy for my OCD ).As we were passing the store I told him about them and so we turned around and went back. We tasted samples and chose some cookies to take home and savor. On the way down the road I could see the hospital where Becky works and I thought dang, we should have gotten one for Becky they are her favorite. We could have done it as a RAOK. I told Jeff and he said lets take her one. Not wanting to take one in on napkin esp, since I didn't know if she was even there, we went back and got one boxed for her. I ran it in and we had a "quick chat." ( That's a pretty hard thing for us to do) I gave her the cookie, the card and a hug and we said a teary good-bye. It was a simple thing but it helped us both.
None of these things changed history or someone's life, but it really helped me through the month. I am happy that Michon's family thinks of special things to do in her honor. We feel so grateful she is part of our family and things like this make me love her more.
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| This is the bench at Michon's grave. Her family helps Kaden keep it decorated for each season or holiday. It is always beautiful like she was. |
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