Moms Funeral

One of the hardest parts about Moms funeral was I was speaking. I have always stood in awe and amazement when I attended a funeral and listened to an immediate family member speak. I mean the purpose of the service is to not only celebrate the life of your loved one and say goodbye but, for me I always thought it was to help comfort those who are the most hurt by the loss. Those who are left behind but, now I understand why so many feel the need to do it. When we were planning the service we were given only so many choices by Mom. She had left very specific instructions as she had with the obituary. One of them was speakers. She left a list of a few people to choose from, people she wanted to talk. She also said that was something we "could" change if we wanted to. Some of the people lived far away or were not in good health anymore. A dear friend of hers Vera Hatch seemed like and obvious choice and she was on "the list". We felt like her brothers should be included and we asked Uncle Brent to do a prayer and Uncle Devon to dedicate the grave. Mitch said the Family prayer and Jeff also prayed. Mike and Kristi said they could not participate so, I felt I needed to talk. As I said before I would never have thought I could do it but,It just seemed like the right thing to do. With all the company and Thanksgiving I really didn't have time to write down anything but a few ideas. I decided to read her life history the day before the funeral and then I started writing. It came to me pretty easily once I got going. Lindsey typed it up once I was finished and we both had a good cry while I was reading and she was typing. After I added a few notes and stories that came to mind so I typed those in and printed my talk and put it in our family history. Because of that I do not want to put the talk on the blog but I will put the basic outline of the talk so when I print in it will be on here. I kind of went with the theme of all the things she was in her life
*She was a Daughter
*She was a Sister
*She was a Wife
*She was Our Mom
*She was a Grandma
*She was a Friend
*She was a Writer
*She was a Bowler
*She was a Hunter
*She was a Diet Coke Drinker
*She was a Reader
*She was a Traveler
*She was a Candy Maker
*She was a Patient
*She was a Fighter
With each topic I wrote a paragraph and/or a story to go with it. It was hard to talk. I cried through the whole thing. The hardest part was looking down at My Dad, All her Kids and Grandkids and Siblings.But, mostly Dad he was crying ,like really crying no holding back no tough exterior. He had told me he didn't want me to talk. He didn't think I should have to. Mitch told him we do this kind of thing at church all the time or I don't think I would have gotten his blessing to do it. The spirit gave me courage and the strenght I needed to get through it. I knew that would help me and I felt it the whole time. Probably one of the best thing about all this was when I was done with my talk was after I went back and sat down by him He put his hand on mine and gave it a little pat. Now to most people that would seem like a small thing but, to me it was huge! Even when Mom was giving up and we were making plans, even when she passed away and all through this he had barely even accepted a hug. He is not a hugger or a kisser or one to express his feelings with words. The fact that he touched my hand a told me I did a good job was really a touching experience for me. One that I will always remember and one I wanted to record.

Mitch and his family sang a song. She had requested the Grand and Great Grandkids sing "Families can be together Forever. "Dad said no. He didn't think it was fair to ask them and thought it would too hard to get it together. Although we knew it would be easy to arrange we also knew it would be harder on the adults than the little kids so we let that one go. One of the things I wanted to make note of was that sweet Michons Mom offered to drive up to Cedar and sit with all the little ones in the nursery for the funeral. I thought that was so nice. Something I would have never thought of. I made a mental note to remember that the next time someone would need help. After the service we had lunch. According to Mom we were to eat and 12:00 noon (oh by the way the funeral was at 10:30). Her choice of course. We don't know why she decided that but, we did it anyway. It was a lovely meal prepared by those who had loved and served her for years. My brother Mike who has no idea what a "Mormon funeral luncheon" consists of asked me what I thought we would have. I had to laugh at that. I told him "Ham ,Funeral potatos,green salad,jello salads and rolls with cake for dessert and water." I told him if I was wrong about any one thing I would give him $100 . He said "Oh yeah? Sounds good to me." Of course I was right , that was a given in my book but, to someone like him he really had no idea I would be right at all.

Next came our trip to the cemetary. Mom was being buried in Panguitch where she was born and raised. My Dad loves Panguitch so they had purchased plots years ago. Her parents and most of her family is also buried there. Mom had scheduled the burial for 3:00. We debated if we should wait that long since obviously she thought we would take longer us to eat and clean up. We decided to head over and visit until then. We stopped for a Pepsi. Of course I knew she would understand. I would say 90% of the family were at the Maverick. I guess our family has a drinking problem. Lindsey and her family headed back to Logan it had been a long week and a long day they had a long drive home with 3 little ones. On the way to Panguitch I told Jeff we should have drove his truck to Cedar and left it there so we could have picked up a Christmas tree on the way home. We always go there for a tree and I didn't know when we would make it back up to Cedar.

It was a lovely day the sun was shining and even though it was a little chilly we all sat around and talked until 3:00. A few friends and family did come out to the burial that couldn't have made it to Cedar so, it was good we waited in the end. Before my Uncle dedicated the grave they played a song she liked and we all cried again. Then to lighten the mood he said " Well Evelyn must have alot of infuence in Heaven because never in November in Panguitch would it be this warm and sunny unless she was there to give them hell about it!" And he was right she even arranged good weather. The dedication was really nice, It was hard to say goodbye. We wanted to set her Diet Coke by her grave but Dad didn't so much love the idea so we let him have his way. Leaving was hard but, also kind of peacful. My Mom who had had such a long fight with diabetes, lost her sight, the use of her legs and so many other pain and afflictions was now whole,free to walk and talk and see things clearly. I imagined her passing and looking at her legs like Ariel in the Little Mermaid laughing and dancing around for the first time in years. I kind of like to think of that when I am wondering why after all those years and close calls this happend so fast and this last time she really didn't pull through. She had a strong testimony of her Savior and I know she was greeted by him and her parents with loving open arms.