Whew...Last night Jeff and took Karver to look at lights on the way home. Of course what better place to take him than the temple. I feel it's important for us to help him learn about and feel the spirit. When we pulled up he asked if that was Heavenly Fathers house. I told him yes and he asked "Is it Jesus house too?" In tears already I told him that their spirit was in there and that it a very special place. He asked "Can we go inside? Is my mom there? My mom is with Jesus, can we go see her?" He asked us that at least 10 times before we got out of the car. Of course I am sobbing by this time. How do I tell a 3 year old boy his mom is with Jesus then show him his house and tell him we can't go inside? When he saw the Christ in the visitor center, he asked if we could go see him. He stood there and looked at him for a long time. The Sister missionaries came over and got down to his level and asked him his name. He then proceeded to tell her about every vehicle is getting for Christmas, every thing he owns and every thing he does, (anyone who has spent more than 10 min with him, knows what I mean).
She was very sweet and listened and prodded him on. After he was done she asked if he knew Jesus was. He pointed at the Christus. He asked her if his Momma was with Jesus. She misunderstood and said, yes Jesus is with his Momma. I quietly told her that Karver meant his Momma. Still down on her knees. Her eyes filled with tears. We were all in tears as he told her he was going to see his Momma when she was done in Heaven. Then he asked if he could sit at the base of the statue and they told him he could. It's moments like these that fill my mind with doubts and questions. Pain and agony. I know you are there and safe, but how do you explain this to a 3 year old boy? How do we help him understand when I can barely understand it myself? I am not sure If I know if this was a bitter or a sweet moment. All I know is it was hard, very hard. The sister asked him if he knew Jesus loved him. He said " I know" Thank heavens for his wondering mind. We ran outside and looked and talked about the nativity. He asked me if Mary was his Momma. ...The beautiful lights took him off and running. I was sure grateful for his light up shoes, because I can't run fast enough to keep up with him. He played on the steps and went to top and back down. Then he told us he was ready to go home and see his dad. Oh Michon, I hope you don't feel the same heartache we do. Stay close beside him. He needs you.
The Temple glowing with the Christmas spirit.
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| Cute little Karver "sitting with Jesus" |
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| He loved the stairs! |
He was so excited for Christmas this year. He finally caught on to the idea of Santa.
Brent and Evelyn helped us teach him the nativity as well.
I hope we can help instill a testimony of the Savior, and the plan of salvation throughout his life. That gives us peace and comfort, and I hope as he grows older he will find it too.
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